WELCOME to urbanchaos.iwarp.com, the page where Santa lives during off season! And might I add that the old fool doesn't pay a cent on rent, he just uses that old :"I'm a tired old man who isn't allowed to retire, and the milk and cookies business is one of those charity ventures I was forced into, thus making no profit!" excuse!

In a way I feel sorry for the sob, being on a mandatory holiday break for almost a whole year. Then when he's called to work, oh boy, you should see him go, I never knew how fast old people can move when the heat is on. His elves steal so many gifts that they used to hide them in my kitchen cupboards, garage, basement and even poor old Rex's kennel! I guess cost wise, it was more viable to steal toys, jix them up and change any incriminating serial numbers they might have! I must say that the amount of presents have been dying down over the last few years, can't figure out why though?

I don't mind letting them use my place as extra storage, I get to jack Santa's stolen stuff, only problem is, I never know what it is that i'm stealing, with all that stupid wrapping they put on! One year i got lucky though, 3 Barbies, a crayon set, and a second hand Playstation One. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with the Dragon Ball Z fluffy toy, maybe Rexie needs a new chew toy, his current George Bush Jr. doll has had it's fair share of munching!

I've lived here for almost 10 years, growing up on motorcycles was fun, and has now turned into my latest project, i'm going to build one from scratch! Please visit My Streetfighter page!

I just pray to God that old Santy never wants to take it for a spin, have you seen that man fly his sled? Well lets just say that he has been known to park on roofs, blaming it on his Reindeer. Who I know for a fact don't have stable jobs, you see, Santa's a bit of a gambler and a very heavy drinker. He's been warned by his superior, Scooby-Doo, that it better stop, or els he'll be replaced by a younger more attractive version named Veronica. (don't worry guys, i keep the liquor cabinet stocked, unlocked, and frequently host Poker evenings, a few more and I'll invite Scooby around for a game and some snacks, and get that old G fired)

I just can't wait for Veronica to move in, doesn't that just sound better? Wouldn't you prefere a gorgeous, sumptuous, voluptuous and curvilinear Santa delivering your gifts?

But you can bet your last worthless South African Rand I'm not stopping here, my site will be updated regularly.